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to go or not to go - emotional dilemma

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Joined: Feb 04
Points: 103
Posts: 1

Posted: 2004-02-23 08:58:00   

I have been wanting to take a round the world trip. Just to take a year off and go.

I have been giving my own situation a lot of thought, and it basically comes down to several reasons holding me back from my trip.


Money, which I could work a second job for two years and then go. I am not and never have been a stranger to hard work. I have held waitress jobs in the past to help buy my house. Although, I have given it a lot of thought I just don't want and I don't even know if I could have the staying power to constantly maintain a second job for two years for a dubious payoff of traveling to other places. I have thought long and hard and would it even be worth it? I know I can't sustain a second job for two years if I am already waffling on the reasons, now.


My life is very comfortable, a rut, but comfortable and secure. If I stay I even have free medical. I have a great job with good people and a loving boyfriend. A good house and a ten old SUV that is finally paid off. I am just getting fully out of credit card debt. There are numerous repairs that need to made on the duplex. This would cut deeply into my savings, anyway. It is hard to give up suburbia just because I am bored and always have had this feeling riding my ass to travel, explore, or do something other than be a couch potato.


This whole concept is too overwhelming an idea for me to do alone. My boyfriend, who I have been with for twelve years, does not truly support this idea. He gives verbiage support only, holding me back financially, due to the fact that he depends on me and this house, my house. I am the MAIN provider, after all. I have the responsibilities to keep mind of. Meanwhile, I have a mortgage and a life to maintain.


Who would leave a comfortable life for the unknown. Entirely to scary for me.

While my desire to travel has been with me for over 16 years, I find that I can't. To many fears and responsibilities hold me back. (At least at this time in my life)

While I know this desire has not faded I believe if you starve a dream long enough it will shrivel and die, and I am hoping two weeks vacation a year will stave that off. This just isn't right for me at this time in my life.

I will be the armchair traveler enjoying, vicariously, your travels through your postings.



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Joined: Oct 03
Points: 8654
Posts: 164

Posted: 2004-02-23 18:11:00   

I urge you to listen to your heart... you have just this one life (as far as any of us know for sure), why fill it full of regrets and unrealized dreams? Your soul is telling you to seek far horizons, there is a reason, a purpose behind this.

Open to this, surrender to the call, and the world will open in answer to you. I, like you, had a comfortable, stable life, but longed to see the world. When I answered that call, and made myself willing to give up my home, most of my possessions, even my beloved and treasured dog, the universe answered, "Not necessary." And amazingly, out of the blue, miracles happened, making it unnecessary for me to give up any of those things, and still travel far and wide for four months last year, and likely another four months later this year.

If it is meant to be, the universe will find a way to help. That longing is there for a reason, take it seriously. For more inspiration, visit my site:

Blessings on your journey!


travel inspiration & information at

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Joined: Jun 02
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Posted: 2004-02-25 02:56:00   

Well all I can say is "go for it"!

But I just want to know if you are so undecided why do you have to go for a year? Why not say, go for 2 or 3 months and have a taste of different places so that if you find somewhere you think you would like to return to you can go back another time. Anyone who has spent any length of time on the road will testify that it is hard work, so do the taster.

The main reasons for this are:

1. You can find out if you are truly a traveller

2. If you love it there is always the chance if doing another trip. If you hate it at least you can stick it out and not think oh my god I have 10 or 11 more months of this.

3. It would snap you out of your rut. Who needs comfortable? I would rather keep working just to take just that next trip. If I did not have my memories of the things that I have seen and the people that I have met I would gone crazy long ago.

Can't you rent out your house while you are gone to keep your financial situation more secure or even look at doing a "house swap". There are loads of sites on the web to do this.

But most importantly you seriously need to look at your relationship. It sounds like he is holding you back. Re-evaluate what you are getting out of the relationship as it sounds very one sided. This trip could be the excuse to finish or at least trial a separation to see if he is neccessary in your life.

Good luck with the soul searching.


Where to next?

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Joined: Aug 02
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Posted: 2004-02-25 03:52:00   


Carpe Diem.

[ This Message was edited by: daniserralta on 2004-02-25 03:56 ]

The journey is the reward. -- Tao saying

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posting by moderator

Joined: Jun 02
Points: 4110
Posts: 170

Posted: 2004-02-25 04:46:00   

Good health and high spirits!

First thing to remember is NO EXCUSES, if you want it bad enough make it happen!!

1. Financially you can save a portion of your wages for a yr.

use the equity in your house, get a small loan out your house, leave your guy there to pay the rent while your gone,many different things to do without giving up your job, if you got the free medical, keep it you will need it when you travel.

2. Book an adventure tour of a place you want to go for say a couple of weeks. Go for Egypt or Morrocco you can do the country for less than $800cdn with a tour+ your air. You can have the stability of the group to use their itinery. If you don't like to do what they are doing, go it on your own and use the group for transport and hotels..

3. If this isn't the right time of the yr for you now it never will be because you will always find some excuse NOT to do it..

Bite the bullet, buy the trip and just go, 2 weeks in the winter, go see what your missing or what your not. I can guarantee it will change your outlook on things.

Lastly, take downunder gals advice and seriously look at your relationship with your ummm guy. You sound bitter about the whole "he depends on me thing" Why not make him grow up and learn to depend on himself!! If you live your life for you, you will continously be unhappy about it...

LIFE IS AN ATTITUDE! YOUR ATTITUDE!!! Live the life YOU love, not his.


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Joined: Oct 02
Points: 6482
Posts: 69

Posted: 2004-02-26 18:05:00   


I think the important things are said. I can really understand, that it is incredibly difficult to come to a decision. Maybe this can help you: Just answer following questions, one after the other, take your time and take care that you answer ONLY the question - don't tell stories, not 'yes, but...', nothing that draw's off the attention from the question:

1. What would you like. What would you like that happens in this case?

-Write down your answer-

2. What do you need to get it?

-Write down your answer-

3. Which utilities/resources do you have to reach what you want?

-Write down you answer-

4. Where do you stand now? How do you reach your target now?

Good luck, Christian

Just SMILE - and the world smiles with you!!

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