I almost lost my bliss. Or maybe, it’s just die a while. Rediscover your passion. Compulsory, and almost impossible. How?
Can we cut this noise? I need clarity of the music; the clarity that could mend me.
Purify me. For I was so embarrassed, I sob and sob.
I am betting my soul up here.
If I loose now, I have nothing left.
This is to much of a gamble. I thought I can handle this. But I guess… I might not.
I went on with the support of false support. I thought someone will break my fall.
But maybe not.
So, if I loose now. Maybe that’s just it.
I can spend my already spent life trying to justify things.
I might even write a book about it and tell the world that despite all that; I found bliss somehow.
But I don’t know. Maybe, there’s nothing left.
I am betting my soul after all.
If I loose; I know that I can never see anyone with the same look again.
And so would not they.
Oh… I cannot handle too much honesty.
When people read between the lines and we just know.
…That I lost it.
I know it.
And they know it also.
Everybody knows.
Or, maybe I should just write a song.
Redemption song.
So… cut the noise will you.
I need to hear the music.
Cause I’m writing the lyric.
Jun 30, 2007 12:00 AMthe heat of delhi
so there i was. the place that i want to go to for quite sometimes. yet, at the worst time of the year.
i was sweating like bathing. bitting skin...
and also the noise.
ahhhh... here it is. new delhi.
inside out... just a quick aquintance. i can say that i found things to like about the city.
but it's a secret... :)
Jun 28, 2007 12:00 AMit was raining in agra
i have the mud in my feet.
splashing dancing
i don't care. i may as well go bare feet.
therefore i go
i've told you before
and i tell you again.
i love the universe when it rains
i love the universe just now
i have the water on me
oh purify me the splash from heaven
pour on me
i want to be washed out again
here, in agra.
when man proclaimed love
when woman stood tall in white
let's go
let's go bare feet
when rain falls in agra
Jul 08, 2006 12:00 AMtrip not alone
another take off. this time not alone...
people that i know for my whole life, shared one of the sacret thing i love about life... travel.
i never know that doing something not only for yourself can feel as good.
all the laugh and all the flaws i already know for too long. what can you say... a trip with family.
the sheer joy of being lost with people you're lost in since you breathe.
haha...
i cannot ask for less... or more.
i have a great time.
Mar 23, 2006 12:00 AMthe firs trip
this year is amazing. i started everyday travlin to almost every region of the country... just in my head. i know whatever going on in all the places, through people's eyes and mouth. captured by the lenses and the metal tape.
yet, there goes my first take off of the year. but it was not for a happy reason. the old 'mbah' is sick... and i just have to go.
and... she died. so, there it went the take offs and the landing. every travel takes you to new destination... even just to yourself.
in memoriam:
Suharni Sabdowati.
Sragen, Jawa Tengah
March, 1st 2006
Dec 13, 2005 12:00 AMmy morning trips
it was dark, then it was light blue, and low clouds started to appear. this is jakarta.
cars riding slow, even in monday morning. it's only 5.30 in the morning my friend.
if you want to go out... it's best before sunrise.
the rhytm is mezzoforte... intersecting toward allegro.
manics of life, traffic, rush, ambitions, hopes... soon they will dominate.
but jakarta, just before sunrise....
jakarta-jakarta
:my morning trips, my travel at home
Nov 05, 2005 12:00 AMbaru -- berangkat lagi
i missed my horizon.
i had 10 take-offs this week...
still, i missed my horizon.
i need it.
it's one beautiful month, when the rain just dropped. yet, i missed something out there.
i'm going.
i shall go...
May 11, 2005 12:00 AMone different morning
it was morning, and my heart at peace... and my soul at ease. just the perfect morning.
some said that people have to meet somehow... i guess it's true.
it was a rough trip...
stranded even.
but just i came upon the land, and the shore at sight.
i know my sign of arrival is near.
this is one different morning...
although each morning does...
but this is the one.
Apr 16, 2005 12:00 AManother take off
finally, i had my body lifted. moved to another island... although it's actually connected in the bodyly mother earth. the aeroplane cramped, but i was glad.
i will go to the place with flower... even proclaimed in its name.
-ds-
Dec 06, 2004 12:00 AMLost - Lost -- and gain!
Well, it was an escape plan. Yet, even that can vanish.
I cherish those pages. Pieces of papers that has such power... i can go outside.
All right... I lost my passport.
Well, what else to do than getting a new one.
Blank papers to be filled :)
