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Aug 01, 2004 06:00 PM CAPERS IN J'BURG
JUST GOT BACK FROM A GREAT TWO NIGHT J'BURG, FLIGHT OVER WAS HECTIC, BUT IT WAS A FANTASTIC CREW, EVERYBODY SEEMED UP FOR GOING FOR A BITE TO EAT AND A FEW BEVVYS, (VERY RARE INDEED). AFTER CHECKING IN OUR HOTEL WE HAD A WEE KIP THEN IT WAS OVER TO OUR CAPTAINS ROOM FOR A ROOM PARTY TO START THE NIGHT OFF WITH A KICK, UMPTEEN BOTTLES OF CHEAP SPARKLING WINE A VERY PISSED CREW PLUS A FEW HANGERS ON, WENT TO HAIL A CAB, OR SHOULD I SAY A FEW CABS TO "LE CANARD" A WONDERFULLY DECADENT FRENCH EATERY WHICH I WOULD ASSUME WOULD COST AN ARM AND A LEG ANYWHERE ELSE BUT DUE TO THE EXCHANGE RATE IN S.A WAS AS CHEAP AS CHIPS! THE FOOD IS TO DIE FOR AND I WOULD RECCOMEND IT TO ANYONE PASSING THROUGH J'BURG, PLUS THEY PUT UP WITH ALL US PISSED LOT, WHICH IS SOMETHING ELSE. OUR FIRST OFFICER PERFORMED HIS PARTY TRICK OF BREATHING FIRE AND MANAGED TO SINGE ONE OF THE GIRLS EYEBROWS, HOWEVER WE WERE REWARDED WITH FREE SHOTS, DONT ASK ME WHAT IT WAS BUT IT SEEMED TO DO THE TRICK! ON OUR WAY OUT TO HAIL SOME MORE CABS MY MATE DECEIDED TO DOWN THE ONLY FULL SHOT GLASS LEFT ON OUR TABLE, GOOD IDEA YOU THINK, UNFORTUNATELY IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE FUEL THEY USED WHEN FLAMBEING OUR FOOD. VERY BAD MOVE INDEED, BUT WHAT FOOL DECEIDED TO LEAVE LEFTOVER FUEL IN A SHOT GLASS!!!! ANYWAY, NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE AND AFEW OTHERS ACCOMPANIED HER BACK TO THE HOTEL AS SHE WAS AS SICK AS A DOG! ANY BLOODY WONDER!!! NEXT STOP BLUES BAR, A GREAT PLACE TO HANG OUT AND GET EVEN MORE PISSED!!! OUR FIRST OFFICER WAS HITTING ON US GIRLIES AND TRYING TO GET US TO FLASH OUR BOOBS SO HE COULD GET A BOTTLE OF TEQUILLA ON THE HOUSE. THIS SCAM FAILED MISERABLY, HE IS A TOP GUY BUT HIS NAME IS LEGENDARY IN THE COMPANY AS A BIT OF A TART ESPECIALLY WHEN PISSED AND HE WILL SHAG ANYTHING THAT MOVED WHEN HE WEARS BEER GOOGLES, MIND YOU I GUESS THAT APPLIES TO MOST MEN WHEN FULL OF ALCOHOL,ER, SORRY, TESTOSTERONE!!!! BORED OF THE BAR WE WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL FOR MORE LIQUID REFRESHMENTS OF THE ALCOHOLIC KIND AND WENT UP TO THE CAPTAINS ROOM AS IT WAS RUMOURED THAT HE HAD MORE ALOCOHOL, ONLY AS HE OPENED THE DOOR TO US WE FOUND A VERY SCARLETT FACED LADY TOTALLY IN THE BUFF LYING ONTOP OF THE BED!!! AFTER MUCH BACK SLAPPING AND CAJOLING OF OUR CAPTAIN FROM HIS FELLOW FLIGHT DECK MEMBERS WE ALL LEFT HIS ROOM YET TO FIND OURSELVES IN THE FIRST OFFICERS ROOM WERE ROOM SERVICE WAS ORERED IN THE FORM OF ALCOHOL, IM SORRY TO SAY I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER THAT BUT ONLY WAKING UP FULLY CLOTHED ON THE FIRST OFFICERS BED WITH THREE GUYS SNORING LIKE DOGS, AND NO, BEFORE YOU ASK I WAS INTACT BUT MY HEAD WAS KILLING, BUT IF ANYBODY ASKS, YES, I HAVE SLEPT WITH THREE MEN AT THE SAME TIME,EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A COMPLETELY INNOCENT EXPERIENCE!!!
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